In the spirit of Professor Julius Sumner Miller, Allan Gibson of Cherrybrook asks “Why is it so? Every time I ring a call centre the first message seems to be ‘Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed’?”
Truth is stranger than fiction in this tale combining accents (C8) and pen friends. Tony Moo of North Sydney recalls when some students in his secondary school days in the early 1960s “proudly announced to us hoi polloi that they had American penfriends. It didn’t end there. Weeks later, they all ‘spoke’ with American accents.”
Dick Barker of Epping is bewildered by all the surprise about dress thongs (C8). “My thong wardrobe consists of thongs, work thongs, gardening thongs, welding thongs, safety thongs, driving thongs, bathroom thongs, orthotic thongs, dress thongs and many more.”
Meanwhile, George Manojlovic of Mangerton observes that “back in my day ‘dress thongs’ (C8) were the black and white ones. They matched the tuxedo.”
Thong pegging (C8) is effective on more than just family members, according to Judy Archer of Hornsby. “On Australia Day, we had a Thong Throwing Competition with our neighbours. This developed into a chasing game, seeing how many thongs we could throw in one go at someone. We are still talking about it.”
Continuing our brush with avian conspiracy theories, Maurice Collins of Wollongbar thinks “all those brush turkeys (C8) have a business plan for an urban startup incubator at Kirribilli”.
“A possible result of pork-barrelling?” is the conclusion that David Gordon of Cranebrook came to upon hearing of the sudden proliferation of butcher shops (C8) in Clovelly.
Another example of the delights of unexpected morbid humour on the oncology ward (C8) from Jenny Mooney of Karuah. Many years ago, when Jenny was attending her first day-ward chemotherapy session, she asked the nurse on duty where the Ladies’ toilet was. “She directed me with, ‘Just go down that corridor and follow the white light.’ Realisation quickly dawned, and she pulled an apologetic face and said, ‘Sorry. Down the corridor and turn left’.”
Ahead of the opening of Elvis, Rhoda Silber of Manly wonders where her fellow Column 8ers were when they heard the sad news in 1977. Rhoda “was living on a kibbutz in Israel. When I tearfully told my room-mate, her response was ‘Elvis who?’ ”
“I hope the powers that be think twice about pulling the fabled ‘gas trigger’ lest they gaslight the country,” writes Jack Dikian of Mosman.